Tough Love—The Best Form of Self Care
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and it’s got everyone feeling some type of way. Maybe you couldn’t care less because it’s a made-up holiday (but like, what isn’t?), maybe it’s the perfect day for you and a loved one to spend some quality time together, or maybe it’s when you celebrate Galentine’s with your fellow boss babes. Regardless of how you celebrate Valentine’s Day (or don’t), it’s got me thinking about the most important form of love there is — self love.
There’s been a huge self-care movement over the past few years. I, for one, am here for it. I think, especially as women, we are expected to do it all and not take any time for ourselves. I love the self-care movement because it’s proof of how not selfish being “selfish” actually is. When you take care of yourself – whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally – you’re actually taking the burden off of others in your life to fill those voids.
With a plethora of glorious self-care potions and lotions so readily available, I started to realize that these versions of self love are great, but the results are immediate and can be fleeting. What about the kind of self love that requires a process? What about the kind of self love that might be uncomfortable or difficult? I’m talking about showing yourself some tough love.
I could go to bed every night with an eye mask and some lavender pillow spray and, yes, that is self care, but what about the things that I really need to force myself to do? So far this year has been all about that tough love for me, and I have to say, I have never felt better. Everyone has different goals, so tough love will look different from person to person. It’s really about working through those things that keep you up at night and attacking those goals that seem unattainable. We have to stop lying to ourselves and finally hold ourselves accountable.
Have you been telling yourself that you will go to therapy? Go. Have you been saying “diet starts tomorrow” for years? Start now. Have you been avoiding a tough conversation with someone? Have it. Are you holding onto toxicity? Let go. Are you continuously engaging in things that bring only stress? Say no. There are a lot of uncomfortable, awkward and painful things that you need to push yourself through in order to get to that next level of self love. What I’ve learned is that we are all capable of incredible growth and all we need is to start believing “I am worth the life I want to live.” Go on girl, live that life.